A live in chef
A housekeeper/maid
A personal shopper
A trainer
A stylist
A makeup and hair artist
A bookkeeper
A decorator
A organizational specialist
Outsourcing my job description!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
My Dilbert-esque thoughts for today
When I see a powerpoint slide that is too busy, I have two simultaneous and conflicting responses... 1) to go cross eyed and run away, 2) to start at one corner and read every single freaking word...
There is no way to be zen on the freeway. It's like trying to go to your happy place while enduring water torture.
If you bring your lunch to work and it requires heating, expect to eat it before 10:45am or after 1:30pm; the other times of day the microwave is a small war zone.
There is no way to be zen on the freeway. It's like trying to go to your happy place while enduring water torture.
If you bring your lunch to work and it requires heating, expect to eat it before 10:45am or after 1:30pm; the other times of day the microwave is a small war zone.
Monday, May 16, 2011
more random observations
Watching surfers drinking a pina colada is pretty much the best thing ever.
If I were a bartender I would bartend in hawaii. I could put up with tourists and working nights if my days where like this!
It's hard to describe the color of the water here. Its a rainbow of blue!!
I'm reminded that I have "assets" that become far more obvious when wearing a bathing suite as opposed to the 5 layers of clothes I normally have to wear at home. :)
Everything here is mild. The breeze, the water, the drivers, I think I understand why people like it here!
If I were a bartender I would bartend in hawaii. I could put up with tourists and working nights if my days where like this!
It's hard to describe the color of the water here. Its a rainbow of blue!!
I'm reminded that I have "assets" that become far more obvious when wearing a bathing suite as opposed to the 5 layers of clothes I normally have to wear at home. :)
Everything here is mild. The breeze, the water, the drivers, I think I understand why people like it here!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
paradise...
So here I am in hawaii... Seems to be the only time I am inclined to blog is when I am traveling, and/or I don't have anyone to share my thoughts with. The plane ride was ok. Not stellar with all the screaming chitlins but I've really had worse. Hawaii is interesting so far. I haven't seen it in the daylight so we'll see how my impression changes in the morning. But so far, it's very humid, the drivers are crazy slow, and I really lile the shrimp. Hotel room is meh, but the hotel is RIGHT on the beach, so I'm actually sitting in an outdoor bar right now listening to the ocean. Gotta say that's pretty darn sweet. Excited to get some sun on this pastyness tomorrow!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Spiders are evil incarnate
I'm beginning to think that spiders are hunting me.
Everywhere I turn...there is another one. Creepy crawling. On my car. On my door. In my entryway. Big huge ugly spiders making big huge sticky webs for me to walk into.
BLECK!!!!
I'm so creeped out this time of year. No wonder Halloween is all about spiders and creepy crawlys. Uck. not ok.
Charlotte's Web? Total crap.
Everywhere I turn...there is another one. Creepy crawling. On my car. On my door. In my entryway. Big huge ugly spiders making big huge sticky webs for me to walk into.
BLECK!!!!
I'm so creeped out this time of year. No wonder Halloween is all about spiders and creepy crawlys. Uck. not ok.
Charlotte's Web? Total crap.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Blue Angels
Swiftly dancing in the air
Tight circles, flying everywhere
Here with a boom
Gone with a rumble
Shaking high towers
Hope they don’t crumble :)
Tight circles, flying everywhere
Here with a boom
Gone with a rumble
Shaking high towers
Hope they don’t crumble :)
Thursday, July 29, 2010
She's coming to eat you!
Warning: this blog can probably be considered both insensitive and not PC.
Picture this:
You are walking down the streets of downtown Seattle. There is a moderate amount of foot traffic around.
You notice a lady standing in the sidewalk. She doesn’t look like a business person, but perhaps a tourist.
Little do you know…she is…
crazy lady.
She starts walking ahead of you at a normal pace, but you sense that something isn’t quite right.
Then you realize, she is staring at you. In a mirror. That she is holding in front of her face.
You glance at the mirror. She is literally staring right at you in her little mirror as she walks in front of you. Creepy.
You try to pretend like you didn’t see anything. The best thing to do with crazies is generally to ignore them. Under no circumstances should you let them know that you are paying attention to them because this will either 1) freak them out and make them think that you are stalking them or judging them or going to kill them, or 2) encourage them to do more crazy things because now they have an audience for their antics.
But this doesn’t seem to work. She just keeps staring at you.
As you walk along, your pace is slightly faster than her’s, so you are catching up with her. Now you notice the murmuring. Bad sign. And she’s still staring at you.
You pick up your pace more in order to pass her and hopefully escape.
Just as you are about to make the move to pass, she stops in her tracks turns toward you and proceeds to run into you all the while exclaiming with wild gesticulations of the mirror in her hand,
“This isn’t the direction I was supposed to go!”
She bumbles past you and goes a different direction. You don’t watch where because you are checking your purse to make sure you didn’t just get pick-pocketed.
All the contents of your purse are fine, so you breathe a sigh of relief and continue moving on down the street to do your errands. You think you’ve escaped.
You are wrong.
On the return trip, you think, “I’ll take a different route to go back,” since there were so many particularly unsavory characters on the street you had taken before (other than the crazy woman).
Crazy woman has almost left your mind.
You approach a cross walk, and think, “I know that parka.”
Crazy lady.
She is standing in the direction you want to go. And she’s staring at you again!
At this point you’re a little freaked out and think “Holy Crap, I think she’s stalking ME!” You quickly maneuver in order to try and avoid coming anywhere near crazy lady. She somehow outmaneuvers you and ends up having the loudest sneeze, right on your shoes. The sneeze is so loud and unexpected that it scares the living daylights out of you and now all you want to do is run away!
But you can’t because you are in heels.
So you settle for trying to place as many people between you and her lumbering stride. That’s right she’s following you.
You look back and see her coming, so you really pick up the pace. You manage to reach a cross walk just as the red hand is blinking, so you run across in order to make the light. You dash up the steps to your building and quickly glance behind you.
But crazy lady is gone.
Picture this:
You are walking down the streets of downtown Seattle. There is a moderate amount of foot traffic around.
You notice a lady standing in the sidewalk. She doesn’t look like a business person, but perhaps a tourist.
Little do you know…she is…
crazy lady.
She starts walking ahead of you at a normal pace, but you sense that something isn’t quite right.
Then you realize, she is staring at you. In a mirror. That she is holding in front of her face.
You glance at the mirror. She is literally staring right at you in her little mirror as she walks in front of you. Creepy.
You try to pretend like you didn’t see anything. The best thing to do with crazies is generally to ignore them. Under no circumstances should you let them know that you are paying attention to them because this will either 1) freak them out and make them think that you are stalking them or judging them or going to kill them, or 2) encourage them to do more crazy things because now they have an audience for their antics.
But this doesn’t seem to work. She just keeps staring at you.
As you walk along, your pace is slightly faster than her’s, so you are catching up with her. Now you notice the murmuring. Bad sign. And she’s still staring at you.
You pick up your pace more in order to pass her and hopefully escape.
Just as you are about to make the move to pass, she stops in her tracks turns toward you and proceeds to run into you all the while exclaiming with wild gesticulations of the mirror in her hand,
“This isn’t the direction I was supposed to go!”
She bumbles past you and goes a different direction. You don’t watch where because you are checking your purse to make sure you didn’t just get pick-pocketed.
All the contents of your purse are fine, so you breathe a sigh of relief and continue moving on down the street to do your errands. You think you’ve escaped.
You are wrong.
On the return trip, you think, “I’ll take a different route to go back,” since there were so many particularly unsavory characters on the street you had taken before (other than the crazy woman).
Crazy woman has almost left your mind.
You approach a cross walk, and think, “I know that parka.”
Crazy lady.
She is standing in the direction you want to go. And she’s staring at you again!
At this point you’re a little freaked out and think “Holy Crap, I think she’s stalking ME!” You quickly maneuver in order to try and avoid coming anywhere near crazy lady. She somehow outmaneuvers you and ends up having the loudest sneeze, right on your shoes. The sneeze is so loud and unexpected that it scares the living daylights out of you and now all you want to do is run away!
But you can’t because you are in heels.
So you settle for trying to place as many people between you and her lumbering stride. That’s right she’s following you.
You look back and see her coming, so you really pick up the pace. You manage to reach a cross walk just as the red hand is blinking, so you run across in order to make the light. You dash up the steps to your building and quickly glance behind you.
But crazy lady is gone.
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